Here is your chance to show your wit and have a little laugh with some buffoonery one-liners.
This is a wisecrack, monkeyshine, stupid joke contest.
Create your own, original jokes and post them below. Please keep all drollery school appropriate and human sensitive.
54 comments:
Too funny, I just posted a joke contest on my site (potential $$$) and searched on Google to find others ... yours was the first to pop up!
OK, here's my dumb joke:
Q: Why did the bubble gum cross the road?
A: Because it was stuck to the chicken's foot!
;)
-two peanuts walk into a bar.
-one was a salted!
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!!!!!
What do you call a Polar Bear with ear muffs?
Anything he can't hear you!!!
what do you call a deer in water?
A reindeer
What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer
LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL
Teacher: Why does the Statue of Liberty stand in NY harbor?
Student: Because it can't sit down.
How does a mouse feel after a bath?
Sqeaky clean!!!
What did one car muffler say to the other car muffler?
Boy, am I exhausted!!!!
LAME JOKE
What do you call a moose in water?
A water buffalo
stupidest joke contest
nock nock who's there bannana bannana who bannanna , bannana who bannana ,bannana who orange ornch who yah glad i didnt say bannana
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i think i should win
A duck walks into a bar. He gets a couple of a drinks and walks up to the bartender. The bartender says,"That would be $6.82." The ducks then says,"put it on my bill".
(Hint:If you do not get. Well think,a duck has a beak also called a bill, so if they place on his bill, they are placing the money on his bill."
SECRECY
knock knock
who's there
nobody
nobody who
there nodody there so theres nobody
A redneck family are visiting a big city for the first time.
The father ans son are in the hotel lobby when they spot an elavter.
"What's that paw?" The bot asked.
"ain't never seen nothin' like that in my life" Replied the father.
Seconds later a old frail ladie walks in the hotel door and hobbles to the elavtor presses the button with her cain waits for the door to open and gets in.
The father and son still amazed by the contraption continue to watch.
Then they here a ding noise and a beautiful 20 year old blonde walks out.
The father looks at his sun and says. "Go get your maw!"
NEW JOKE
Knock knock
whos there?
Doris
Doris who?
Doris locked thats why i had to knock
this joke is hilarious!!!i no ur gonna laugh.
How did the chicken cross the road?
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to get to the other side SILLY!!!
well, maybe u didn't laugh but o well = ]
ok, here's another 1 that's funny 2
what do u call 1 gracie on the moon
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problem
what do u call ALL the gracies on the moon?
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PROBLEM SOLVED!!!
it's usually blondes or other things so i just used myself
LOL = ] : ) ; }
why does snoop dog need an umbrella?
answer: FO' DRIZZLE
who is the best dancer at a monster party?
answer: the boogy man
hell?
I mean hello?
ok this is my favorite and most original joke so noone take it k
OK there were theses two muffins siting in the oven one muffin looks at the other muffin and says"whoa its hot in here" and the other one says "oh my gosh A talking muffin" soooo funny
mAtt.M
Hey why do you never go hungry in the desert?
Cause theres lots of sand-whiches!
LOL HaHaHaHaHa
What do checks do?
They Bounce!!!!!!!!!!
LOL HaHaHaHa
A blond walked into a bar!!!!!!!!!
If your a little slow heres a clue a bar a pole!!!!!!!!! If you still don't get it you just might be blond. LOL Ha
what do u call a frisky zebra with no strips?
a White stud! ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! IM soooooooooo funnnnny!
whos dumb cluck
alrighty here we go
three blondes walk into a bar
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u'd think one of them woulda seen it!! lol lol hahaha hahehahe
r u ready?
a blonde was walking along a side walk when she saw a banana peel and said
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HERE WE GO AGAIN!!
mr joachim when do u announce the winner? u should announce it to 5th period and let us watch our video the one where someone wuz picking their nose!! u no, that 1
nutter butter stop wasting space!!!!
your mama is so fat her shadow weighs 45 pounds
ha ha ha
whos super duper monkey pooper?
Nutter butter STOP WASTING SPACE FOR OTHERS TO TYPE!!!!!!
u guys, it's not wasting space!!! how is it? it's not like it doesn't leave room 4 others 2 type becuz the page will just keep getting bigger as you add more! itty bitty and anonymous, u guys need to back off & let people do their thing.
here's a dumb joke
Q:what did the math book say to the english book?
A:my life is full of problems
here's another one
Q:which side of the roof did the rooster lay it's egg on?
A:roosters don't lay eggs SILLY!!
who is itty bitty?
i think super duper monkey pooper is justin reyes lol
oh yah if u think i'm wasting space then why do u fill up space w/ saying i'm wasting space? but anywayz it's not wasting space
MR.JOACHIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
when are u gonna announce the winner becuz after all it is the Stupid Joke CONTEST
Wat do u do if ur cake strikes out?
call in the next batter!!
Why was the water foutain taken to court?
For being drunk in a public place!
Why was the mushroom the hit of the party?
He was a fungi!!!!!
(If u dont understand,He was a FUN-GUY/FUNGI)
If a nut on the wall is a walnut, than what is a nut in the bathroom?
A pee can!!!!!!! HA HA HA HA HA !!!!!
Why did the tea pot blush?
She thought the kettle was whistling at her!!!!!
Why was the dresser imbarrassed?
Its drawers fell down!!!!
Here is my stupid, yet hilarious, joke. It's a little silly song thing-a-ma-bob.
~sea gull, sea gull, in the sky
~why you poop, I don't know why
~I don't laugh, I don't cry
~I'm just glad that cows don't fly
lol just imagine a cow pooping on you instead of a seagull
Mr. Jo when will u tell the stupid joke winner?
nutter butter isn't that from mr shaver?
Q:why do birds fly south for the winter?
A:because its too far to walk
Q:where does the one legged waitress work
A:IHOP
ok this may not be the best that i can do but here it goes!!!
what does a football coach ask the cashregister dude at the bank?
he says he wants his quarter back!!!
LOL
this one is a story
this guy is going in for mental help and the doctor he went to asked him where his leg was and he pointed to his arm, then the doctor asked him where his arm was and the man pointed to his leg.
so the doctor sent the man away to learn the parts of a body and bones and stuff. so after a while the guy came back to the doctor for his final check up and the doctor asked him where his arms and where his legs where and the guy answered him correctly so the doctor asked him how he had learned all that and the man said his kidneys and he pointed to his head!!!!!!!!
Clue- fyi your kidneys are located behind your spleen and stomache somwhere and they are part of your urinary system.
People always say that life is too short, I mean, life is the longest thing that you,ll ever do. What do they mean by that?
NEW JOKE
Don,t you hate it when somebody just points to their wrist to get the time, I mean, when somebody does that to me, I just say, "Yeah, I got a watch, where's yours?"
So this blond girl walks into a bar, and a guy asks why she's carrying a ladder into the bar, and she says, "The bartender said that the drinks on the house."
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